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Drake and Brandini's Funhouse

| Episode 1 | 6-15-99 |

'Sup? If you look at the backround for a while, you'll realize that I farted on the screen. Sorry. Anyway, this site is about farts... err.... no... Drake and Brandini's Funhouse. Of course, if you're not so retarded as to look at the name of the site, I wouldn't have to tell you that it's about Drake and Brandini's Funhouse. BUT there are some of you who ARE retarded and I have to tell you that. I give a thanks to those of you who looked at the name rather then relying on this paragraph.

This paragraph is for the retarded people (if you are not retarded, then please proceed to the next paragraph (you should know by now my definition of retarded (that is if you read the first paragraph))) Uhh.... I forgot what I was going to type. But that does not matter, you are a retard and you probably wouldn't have read it anyway. So those of you who ARE reading this AREN'T retards, but non-retards who didn't read the notice at the beginning of this paragraph. Wait, if you didn't read the notice, that makes you a retard. So by reading this paragraph you have transformed yourself into a retard. But if you're a retard, you shouldn't have read the paragraph in the first place, thus keeping your role of non- retard. So it is physically impossible for anyone to read this paragraph. Spank yourself for reading this paragraph.

Here's a picture to keep you from getting bored.

Hi, this paragraph is for non-retards (if you are a retard go back to the last paragraph and read it again (Here's something funny for all you non retards out there: if the retards go back to the last paragraph, read it, then come back to this one, this paragraph will tell them to go back and read it again. This will cause them to go into an infinite loop of reading (they're retards so they won't notice (haha, that's funny (i agree))))).

This is my friend, Uncle Spanky Hey kids, Uncle Spanky sez: "I have jewels and you don't! Ha haha ha! I'm probably fatter than you too (unless you are one of those chunky kids who live in the L.A. projects.)" Wasn't that barrels of fun? Weren't you jumping off your seat screaming, "Say something else Uncle Spanky, or I'll kill myself using a hot dog and a balloon filled with toothpaste!"?

Yet again, another entertaining picture (with a caption as a bonus!)

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I've found the perfect way to seperate the retards from the non-retards. All non-retards, take the door on the left. All retards, take the door on the right. Wait, if you're a retard, you might think right is left. So take the door on your OTHER right. Wait, if some of you retards' rights are really on the right side, then you'll pick the left and go with the non-retards. That's a problem. Okay, if you're the kind of retard who has his right on the left side... nevermind, that won't work. Wait, what if it WOULD work, and I would miss out on a great idea that could solve all my problems. Then again, the idea could be bad, thus making ME a retard. Then I would take the right door, wait I would take the left door because I'm a retard, unless I'm the kind of retard that has his right on the right side. But then I would probably take the left because I wouldn't be able to accept the fact that I'm a retard. Or perhaps, knowing me, I would take both. You might say, "Hey, you can't go in both doors. That's impossible,". But you're forgetting one fact: I'm a retard and retards will try anything.

Please Send all Email to:

[email protected]

Please Send all Retarded Email to:

[email protected]

(Note: Drake is not a retard, he just loves to laugh at them)

If any of this confused you to such an extent that it made your brain explode, please don't sue us. We are two old ladies living in the dirty slums of Malaysia. We can't afford to be sued. The only money we have are two goat's heads, Ricky Lake's fourth ear, and five pounds of ant manure.